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New Proverbs For Modern Times….

New (dictionary at random)

‘You know what they say....’



A worn pair of trousers are the emery cloth of life

A mail train at noon is an arsonist’s joy

Busy people have shimmering shinbones

A turtle dove on a wicker chair will only speak Spanish

Foot and mouth disease before May and the snow ploughs need oiling

An opaque clock is a mother’s water melon

To dream is to cut the laburnum

Once a Capricorn always a magnet

Mackerel sky at night makes the serpent bristle

Regret in the dawn and celebrate at dusk

Adjust the reading lamp before you leap

Check the rat trap as you pull the blind

Always carry an umbrella when dressed in blue

New dungarees won’t butter a black stocking

A bishop’s sermon won’t light the gas

A falling pyramid is safer than a stunted ego

Only visit the Garden of Eden with a Norwegian or North Korean

Always swallow on a gondola

Put a goose egg in one pocket and a rear view mirror in the other

Eccentricity is the washer woman’s bed pan

On the Witches Sabbath never say the word constellation

It takes 4 to make a quadrant and 5 to sing a lifeboat

Liquorice is the food of the hawthorn maker

Delirium is the passport to goodliness

A haunted bridge carries no cash

A one way ticket is eye wash to a street walker

Taste the lavender before the monkey calls

Never visit a morgue on a weekday

Pay the mongrel and caress the tiger

Never write down that which can be knitted

Lacquer the turnips and cure the healthy

Praise the horseman and chastise the ring master

Never change your imagination before the autumn or when it’s raining


Old Proverbs For Modern Times….

1/2 & 1/2



A stitch in time never boils

Look before you save nine

A watched kettle never leaps

One swallow doesn’t make it out of mind

It never rains over spilt milk

A friend in need is a shepherd’s delight

Red sky at night and the pounds will look after themselves

Red sky in the morning keeps the doctor away

A bird in the hand is worth an apple a day

It takes two in the bush to tango

Don’t cry before you can walk

All that glistens isn’t a shepherds warning

Fish and fowl isn’t gold

A new broom sweeps clean but old brooms can’t swim together

Two wrongs don’t make it spring

Look after the pennies and every bitch has two afternoons

Home is where it pours

Don’t throw the baby out with all that glistens

The devil’s in the bath water

Every dog has the cows milked

Keep your friends close before May is out

The devil makes the heart grow fonder

This won’t get your enemies closer

He who pays the piper won’t get the baby a bonnet

A friend indeed is out of sight

Spare the rod spoil the tune

The heart is work for idle hands

Absence makes the child

Don’t run before you cast a clout

Old brooms know corners in the detail



July 2011

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